USRN: The Biggest Blessing

The biggest blessing I received this year is my passing results in the NCLEX-RN Examinations.

I got my result last January 22, 2009 around 2:30 PM. I was about to leave the house and unexpectedly, I saw an envelope on the floor near our gate. I thought it was just bills for my mom, but when i saw the logo of the California board of nursing, i got excited. I received a standard-sized thin white envolope. They say, you can tell if you passed by just seeing the size of envelope given to you. A thin envelope indicates that you passed while a thick one indicates that you have not passed within standards and is adviced to make another application form if you wish to take it again. Upon seeing the thin envelope, i got more excited while opening it. Then when i saw the word, "passed", I jumped with joy =)

Start of Year 2009

I've been contemplating for this month of January, the first month of the Year 2009. I have to say that it was much the same as last year. I had my heart broken last year of January.. And now, i'm up to it again..

My first boyfriend. We were together for 6 months now, and supposed to be turning 7 on February 1; but, looks like there will be no more "7th monthsary". He suddenly turned down on me.. never said a word or two.. and just gave signs that our relationship is drifting away..

It was the 2nd week of January. I got this worst feeling, The worst feeling of all is that which keeps you hanging. It is the feeling that makes your mind rattle. When you wake up, you don't know if you're are still holding on to something.. And one day, i just realized how many false hopes i already have. Each day passes that he doesn't talk to me makes me realize that this is not worth waiting for. One Quote says, "A man who truly loves you will never let you go, no matter how hard the situation is. Love your flaws. Love your negativity. Love you for who you really are unconditionally." Another friend of mine said, "the first 72 hours is the most critical in order to say that he can't let you both not talk. If a man didn't talk to you after 72 hours, he doesn't love you that much, more so, doesn't care that much." Its been almost 2 weeks since we had a real conversation. And now, i can't even remember the last day he said he loves me. Its much hurting when you don't know what happened to him. In a glimpse, he became cold, and with a stoned heart. He left without saying a word; he left while I'm totally clueless.

Right now, I've been playing through some songs to give me comfort of this tragedy. I've come up to some songs by Kyla, 3rd Avenue and Leona Lewis. And of all the songs i've played, i have found the perfect song to give me comfort. This is what I want to say to myself..

"Learn to Love"
By Leona Lewis

You’ve been sad
you’ve been hiding so long
don’t be scared
just you keep holding on
I’ve been there

Locked myself away
cant bare to face another day
your broken and ashamed
but if you search within yourself
you can

[Chorus]
Learn to love you
and you learn to heal the pain
let strength hold you
let it shelter you from rain
those shadows cast away your pride
find the light that shines inside
of you

So alone its so cold where you are
close your eyes
let the peace warm your heart
free your spirit
chase away your fears
and wipe away the lonely tears
feel your courage near
let it reach into your soul
and then

[Chorus]
Learn to love you
and you learn to heal the pain
let strength hold you
let it shelter you from rain
those shadows cast away your pride
find the light that shines inside
of you

[Bridge]
I no your hurting
your walls are caving in
but in time you can make it
I no your troubles
your worlds diminishing
but just listen to the voice within
and

[ChorusX2]
Learn to love you
and you learn to heal the pain
let strength hold you
let it shelter you from rain
those shadows cast away your pride
find the light that shines inside
of you..